Archive 2

Here, out of chronological order, are a variety of chestnuts which were missing from the "The Archive" post:


Positivity

Do not touch a potty
You will turn into a white dog
And knock over a building
Until you are a
White white white white apple

Positivity

Knock over a tree until you are a white mean bear

Positivity #12

Knock over everything until you are a white cat
Get that cat
Snap it in its lap
Put it on your head
And throw it in your juice
And drink that cat juice

One
Turn into an eye
Throw that eye into a dog
Throw the dog into a muffin
Eat that dog muffin

---

Hattie has been asking to watch/listen "We Are The Robots" every day. "Chalk up a robot, chalk up a robot, knock up a robot"

"I changed my mind about the Seventies."
Me: "You changed your mind about the Seventies?"
"Yeah. I changed my mind about pacis [pacifiers] and the Seventies."

"Do veterinarians take care of monsters too?"

"HA ha HA! I can make bedtime disappear!"

"Mommy went on the playground and said 'I'm going to turn all these big kids into little babies' and I said 'no mommy, they already went to babies' and she said 'OK, I guess that's your deal'"

"Phoebe and I went to the Please Touch Museum and we saw a squirrel lick a little piece of the Please Touch Museum"

"We should make a pool out of pretzels, and fill it with water, and then gophers & bunnies can swim in the pretzel-pool."

"There are buildings everywhere, but not in Delaware."

"I want to sleep in Central Park for no reason."

"It's bad to throw out beautiful things. Lollipops are beautiful so it is bad to throw out lollipops."

"Golden retrievers are beautiful. They have beautiful hearts. They are golden because they are beautiful."

"I want to go in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania is nasty."

"There should be a hoagie library, and the books are made of hoagies, and you can eat them...and salad ice cream!"

Liz: "George is at the studio right now, and Hattie just asked me if he's making "rock n' roll Japanese music," so I told her about Melt Banana, and she laughed really hard and said "Bananas don't melt!" Then I told her about Guitar Wolf, and she said "Guitars don't WOOF!" Then she said her Japanese band is called "Go Motorcycle No," which I think sounds very believable as a Japanese rock band, or at least a Guitar Woof song."

Hattie has been tacking "in the 1980's" on to the end of sentences and saying "We're stuck in the 1980's."

"When I am a grown-up, me and Bridget [her preschool friend] will be mommies together and have a son named Hattie, and we'll live in a big house in Manahawkin."

"The next holiday is SidePits Day!"
Liz: "Sidekicks?"
"No, PITS- like deep in the ground"
Liz: "Oh, what happens on SidePits Day?"
"All the adults act like Mitt Romney."
Liz: "Whoa."
"Mitt Romney OR Obama Care"

"Headlocks are cute! [scream] [sob] [laugh]"

"Is the night time hiding somewhere?
Isn't the night time hiding some bear?"
(In response to "did you wash your hands?":
"No, but I saw a squirrel!"

Hattie's Peppermint Dance: "Red in the circle! White in the circle! Lower down 'til you're out of sight! Lower up 'til you're out of sight! All around 'til you're out of sight, 'ight! All of the Peppermint DANCE in the Beppermint!"

Jumping into a discussion about driving on snowy roads: "I don't know about cars - I am not in that circle - but..."

"I think reading books is beautiful work."


3/10/12

"Your butt, 55 cents."
Me: "Ny butt is pretty cheap, huh?"
Hattie: "Something is cheaper than a pretzel."

Later: "Your butt is managed."


"Do you want to be tied up?"
Me: "No, I don't want to be tied up."
Hattie: "Some guys do, some guys don't."

1/22/12
I think hattie just issued her first rap diss... she chanted rhythmically:

"I want that baby to not come here
I want that baby to disappear"


1/1/12
Puff (Hattie's Haunted Christmas Story)

Once upon a time there was a boy skeleton and a girl skeleton and the boy skeleton wanted the girl skeleton and so they waited for Santa to come. It was too spooky to make snowmen. It was too wintery and the house was too haunted to make gingerbread men. The ghost said "Boo!" to Santa and the girl said "Boo!" to Santa and Santa said "Ho ho ho EEK! Two ghosties!"

4/9/12

Hattie skipped her nap yesterday amid Easter excitement, and thus was a frazzled mess by evening and fell asleep in the middle of dinner, right at the table. She slept into the night and woke up for the day at 4 am giddily telling us about her dreams inspired by the Alice in Wonderland part of Please Touch Museum (and the one time she saw 2/3 of the animated movie). I couldn't write it all down but here is a substantial excerpt:

"Frosty, Frosty, Frosty, Frosty the Ladybug and before I was born, the Mad Hatter was a baby. And the kids were just staring at the walrus and they started screaming! AUIUIIUIU! Totoro fell over the rabbit hole! Alice kept thinking about the Cheshire Cat.

Wonderland is a bee land and there's a special kind of bug that helps you get there, there's a bus called an ambulance that doesn't take you to the doctors, it takes you to wonderland and then it goes back to its place. guess what? a baby said 'Whu whu whu… ALICE!' and then the baby said 'Whu whu whu… take me to the Mad Hatter!' Before the families had their homes in Wonderland, the baby said 'bu diu, bu diu, bu diu'"

9/19/10

Hattie played a real drumkit for the first time. After thumping around she said "BOOM BOOM! haha... music." and I said "you want to make music?" and she said "haha, ok." Then she bashed out time and chanted "MUSIC! MUSIC! MUSIC!"